BUSY BUSY BUSY

SOOOO... we had a baby, and then.......

We suddenly got SO busy.... 

We live for chaos of some sort in this house. I tell people it keeps me young and always keeps things exciting. July has come (and almost gone) and we have been so "normal" that I hadn't updated caringbridge or my personal blog. 

Braxton's last clinic appointment went very well, and today he had another one month check and he is at 6 MONTHS post chemo. Oh!!! it's so exciting to be counting UP now instead of down to the last treatment :) 

We are not taking any moment for granted. 

On the 4th of July we met up with some friends and although it was raining we went to the Dayton Air Force museum and finished out the rainy night at Joe's Crab Shack on the river... it turned out to be a really fun time. We laughed and ate good food and made memories. 

After the 4th we have been traveling far and wide. We went to Gatlinburg, TN for a week with Nana and Papaw and had the best time. Braxton loves his one on one with them, but it made it super exciting that Aunt Stef came too and brought 2 of Braxton's favorite people, Charlee and Garrett. The cabin was always bustling with ninja moves, and noise, noise everywhere until the wee hours of the night.  Thanks so much Papaw and Nana for the trip.

At the Comedy Barn in Pigeon Forge

Cabby loves his Nana

Cabby and Nelleigh Belle... those 2 are a hoot together

With the best papaw EVER!!!

Then after Gatlingburg, we were home for 2 days and then we went to Tulsa, OK for 5 days for PEAK (a youth church event with young people from all over the country) we felt that at his age it's important for Braxton to see all the people that love and serve Jesus just like he does. Needless to say that Alex, at 6 weeks old, is WELL traveled now. 

Love my family

This past weekend we went to a youth meeting that is about an hour away in Noblesville for 3 days. The kids had a blast getting to see all there little friends that, for the most part, they only see a few times a year. 

This week, we are all SOOOO excited (probably me more than anyone) Gammy and Aunt Ginny and Liam are coming!!!! Braxton's 6th birthday is this weekend and they are coming to celebrate with us. I may just kidnap them and keep them from leaving. 

Braxton has also been to the urologist this month. We are trying to get his night time bed wetting under control. So we are trying some new things, working with his fluid intake and the things he drinks and we are going to try the alarm. Hopefully we will see some results in the coming weeks. 

So this weekend we are going to have a Ninjago LEGO party at the splash park and have a SMALL sleepover and just have FUN!!! Because being a cancer SURVIVOR, deserves to have a SUPER FUN BIRTHDAY.  

I have been very thankful this week, a little teary but over all thankful. I am so blessed that we get to celebrate another year with Braxton. We are super thankful that he is a SURVIVOR and I will never, ever take that for granted. God has been so good to us. 

AND then on Monday next week..... BRAXTON STARTS KINDERGARTEN!!!!! We have been school shopping and he has his book bag and lunch box and today he was able to get a few of his booster shots (he was NOT happy about this). 

So, the Adkins family is trucking along, enjoying the rest of the summer and all the fun things that we have planned. Again and as always thank you for all the prayers and thoughts. 

My Midnight Me Time

Midnight seems to be the only time any more that I have time to SIT and be alone. I wish it was a great time to have a cup of coffee but I'll settle for a little chamomile tea instead. 

Lately my "me time" is spent cleaning and trying to find a comfortable spot. But typically I try to catch up on my favorite blogs and throw in a blog of my own. I find myself talking to God and praying a lot more these days. I am trying to prepare myself for the little bundle of joy that is soon to greet us. 

This pregnancy has been about the most difficult one by far. While I have tried so very hard not to complain because I know that there are so many women that would love the chance to be pregnant but can't get that way. But I've been pregnant a total of 7 times and well I do believe that I'm tired.  

With each pregnancy the curve of my spine gets a little worse resulting in a little more pain than the last one. Walking is hard, breathing is extremely difficult most of the time and sleeping well that is something of the past. 

I truly can't wait to meet this little guy (who still has no name). I'm sure that "baby Omega" is going to bring so many wonderful and exciting new things to our crazy little family. 

I think the older 2 are going to be thrilled with the new baby but I think that my Cabby is going to have some serious issues. I believe that when a new baby is getting ready to come into the mix without even saying anything the other siblings know and some take the "excitement" a little better than others. 

I think that Cabby knows and he's having a little bit of a time saying "so long" to being the baby.

This boy truly cracks me up though. 

In other Adkins news, Braxton has said "so long" to preschool. It's a little bittersweet. I feel like suddenly my baby isn't such a baby anymore and I just don't know that I'm ready to send him off to Kindergarten all day by himself. He's a pistol most days, sassy and extremely independent but what do I do. He had to grow up before he was supposed to and now he's this big person trapped in this cute, pudgy little (almost) 6 year old body.

We had a fun morning at his preschool graduation picnic where he got to say goodbye to his teachers and play with his friends, most of whom will be at his school in the fall. I don't think he truly understands that preschool is no more and that now it's time for the big leagues. 

I want to finish this post with a quick plug for my friends over at Twinkle Belle. 

My sister in law and her sister in law have started this cutesy little girls shop and Zoe got to be in there photo shoot Monday. It was {crazy} but so much fun... 12 little girls all frilled up with their adorable "twinkling" accessories on. Sure to make any little girl feel like a princess. 

I'm pentecostal and we are known for BIG HAIR!!! It makes us.... us. Well, until our girls are able to have the big hair we give them big bows.... big beautiful bows. 

So if you need something to make your little lady shine check out this shop I'm sure that you will love there stuff. And I do believe that eventually they are hoping to start selling a few clothing items as well. I CAN'T WAIT!!! Zoe loves Aunt Stefs work and I'm sure you will as well. 

So that's my me time.... now "me" is going to attempt to hear from Mr. Sandman :)

Night Y'all

3 years

Cancer-versary: a date that NO one wants to have marked on their calendar but sadly we do. 

It has been 3 years. 3 years since I sat in the corner of a small room in Brenner Childrens Hospital and received the news that no parent ever wants to hear. 4 little words that change your life in a matter of minutes... seconds really. "Your Child Has Leukemia". 

It was raining that day, November 10th 2009. I knew something was seriously wrong but I was in denial. 

BUT, 3 years later through hills and valleys, Braxton is almost finished. With 2 more treatments to go, I am reminded just how great God is. He is faithful. He doesn't put more on us than we can bear. Although at the time we may feel like there is no way that we can get through this. We are, We did.  He has been faithful never leaving our sides. We know how blessed we are. We realize that Braxton got the "good" cancer (if there is such a thing). We realize that not everyone responds as wonderfully as he has. We know that there are kids who have fought so hard and earned their wings. We know that Braxton is still here. To share in our traditions. To play with his friends. To go to school. To enjoy birthdays. 

Braxton, in his 5 year old little person self, has taught us so very much. I never would have guessed that such a little person could teach me, an adult, so much. He is for sure, wise beyond his years. He has an old soul, I can't completely understand. I don't know what goes on in his little mind but I know that he is a thinker. An analyzer. He is special. And while I believe all my children to be special and unique in there on little ways. I feel like Braxton has wonderful things in store for himself. 

In 3 years we have learned that hope and faith are enough to get you through the tough moments. We have learned to smile through tears. We have learned that when we think it's impossible, God thinks differently. 

I know that this past 3 years I have grown. As a mother, as a friend. I don't take things for granted. I know that life is so precious and like a vapor. 

When I was pregnant with Braxton I used to pray that I would have the heart of Hannah and that God would take my son, who we prayed for so very hard, and make him something special for HIS glory. I promised that when I had him I would give him back. Fully. I knew from the moment that Braxton was born that God had wonderful things in store for this little person and I pray continously that God will use him. If for nothing more than a gate keeper. Give him a heart that is full of love for Him.

Braxton is FINISHING up and for that I give praise. Braxton is thriving and a "normal" boy, for the most part. Braxton is almost CANCER FREE. Boy, that feels so good. 

This song got me through many moments. I cried on the way to work and back listening to it many times. It's so simple and so to the point. 

Going full force at Mach 3

I realize that I have not posted since September...why??? Well lets just say October has been interesting.... the events go as follow...

At the beginning of October or maybe a little bit before I noticed that Zoe had been walking with a limp. I didn't think too much about it because she had gotten the flu shot earlier that first week and I (being the optimistic mother that I am) chalked it to all up to said shot.

About 2 weeks passed (yes, I said 2 weeks) and she is still limping, I (being the optimistic mother that I am) figure it is maybe a growth spurt that has caused her to, now, "toe walk" a bit. My suspicion is confirmed when my father in law comes in to watch my kids while the hubs and I go on an annual marriage retreat. Upon returning said limp is only worse and my FIL now recommends that I take her to the pediatrician and have it checked out because he believed she would only need a little physical therapy. By that Sunday, the "limp" is awful so I begin to think the worst and FINALLY take her to have x rays. After the ER doc states that it is NOT broken for a brief moment I relax... his next words are "it could possibly be something neurological". Oh Geez... something with the brain or nerves... FABULOUS!!!!

The next morning we head to the pediatrician, where in a brief moment of deja vu, I have my 2 year old in my lab and the doctor puzzled not knowing what is going on. Blood work and then a referral to the "big hospital".

{Needless to say that was a very worried, tearful, praying ride home}

After waiting all day I finally get a call from the office and they tell me that her blood work was fine (insert HUGE sigh of relief)

Long story short, we head to Cincy and the big wigs find a small fracture in the cuboid bone in her foot, evidently this is a very common fracture in toddlers, especially overly active toddlers ( a massive understatement for my Zoe). So my little princess is now in a pink and "farkle" (sparkle) and glow in the dark cast until the 29th.

Oh that's not the end of the story, because anyone that knows my crazy family knows that we don't just do things half way... The following day I get a call from the hem/onc clinic for Brac. His IGG level was too low and because he didn't get his IVIG therapy during his monthly clinic visit, back to Cincy we went. While there we learned that his hemoglobin had dropped and that now he needed a transfusion. OH JOYS!!!! So what was supposed to be a 5 hour day turned into an 8 hour day.

Cause there just isn't a whole lot do here but sleep.

A midst all the chaos  thus far we did manage to squeeze in a trip to the Children's museum, my sister in law and myself plus 6 kids always a fun time. Brac enjoyed the day with his best buddy/cousin, Charlee. So all that chaos was very much worth it. 

2 days of normal passed and then while playing with his dad, Brac fell, catching his toes on the seat of his kiddy picnic table. Oh my, surely I can't have 2 kids with a broken foot. So I insisted that he wait a through the night. The next morning he still couldn't put weight on it so he too was in the urgent care getting x rays. I was sure it was something else. I mean, seriously, what are the chances that I would have 2 kids in casts?? Evidently very good.  

Yes!! Broken!!!  In 2 stinkin' places. Supposedly this is due in large part to the prolonged steroid use and it making his bones a bit brittle.  So, because of his history I was referred to CCMC, where I sat in a waiting room for 2 1/2 hours only to hear the same thing and to be told to call Ortho to follow up and have a hard cast put on. That is where we are headed today in fact. 

Oh the story doesn't stop there. I thought that Caleb had missed the boat, but how dare I doubt the world of chance. He had his 9 month check up and to look at my sweet calm baby you would think he was perfectly fine, but on the contrary, after taking a peek in his little ears, they are infected. His first ear infection!! And he got a double whammy. 

9 months ~ 20lbs and 28 inches long.... my baby is getting big

So the excitement just continues in the Adkins home. I am running ragged getting things situated for Brac's big party and we are embracing life with our accident prone crew. 

I will say that I am a little nervous that things have been happening in 2's. I mean,  this would make any WOMAN nervous. ;)

Humbled

I LOVE Brac's hospital. When we decided to move it was hard only because I LOVED our NC hospital as well. He had such wonderful docs there and I was afraid of what he would walk into in Cincinnati. I did lots of research and was pleased that Cincinnati Children's was among the nations best. I mean, this was my child's health in their hands. I was sure they were perfectly competent but it takes a lot to gain a mother's trust. 

Cincinnati Children's has proven to be fabulous. Brac has one on one attention from his amazing doctor, Dr. O'Brien. I just love her. As does Brac. She gets down on the floor with him. She makes him feel amazingly special when she talks to him. 

Children's has an annual Survivors Picnic at the Zoo, hosted by Cincinnati Zoo.... oh what a fabulous event. An event to celebrate life and in SEPTEMBER at that... perfect time since this is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. We had the privilege of going this weekend. The weather was AMAZING. It was so humbling to see all these amazing kids... SURVIVORS... some still in treatment, but surviving. Some have grown up and some were obviously still in treatment. It was so nice to mingle with other moms... just like me. It was also important for Braxton to see that there were other kids just like him. Kids who fought and WON .... or kids that were "almost" winning. I was so glad for him to see that he was not alone. 

Eron's parents aka Papaw and Nana... came to enjoy in his special day as well. Boy, you should see these kids faces light up as soon as they spot them. They made the day so much more special. To have that one on one time with them. Not mention how much help they were for me. Thanks so much. 

We were given free admission to the Zoo, given a fabulous lunch and the kids received lots of goodies. One thing that is awesome about these events is the way they include the siblings. Zoe has never been left out. I also got some fabulous info on things for Braxton.

There is this fabulous organization called Monkey in my Chair. They place a monkey in the child's seat if they are ever out of class so that even though they are not there, they kind of are. It's a fabulous way to make him feel included even when he can't be. I have requested his. Excited to get it. 

Find out more here > Monkey in my Chair

I have also decided that since Braxton is ALMOST FINISHED (4 more clinic visits after today and one more spinal tap) that I want to start giving back to the organizations that have helped us so much. I am going to start volunteering with the Leukemia and Lymphoma society as well as a fabulous organization call The Dragon Fly Foundation. They bring special things to the kids while they are in the hospital. Things that make there extended stay more bearable. As a mom who's "been there" I am really excited to help out those moms (and dads) just like us. 

The Dragonfly Foundation

We are praying that Brac will get through these next 4 months without being inpatient. As I type this I got a call from Eron telling me that his port is not drawing back, so we are also praying that this will resolve itself and not be anything at all. Brac's been so tough, so strong and amazingly brave through every month of his treatment. Through every stick and through every hospital stay. We are so blessed to have him. 

And I couldn't let a post go by without a little Zoe/Caleb action... 

I'm not sure if you can tell but that's her big brother under there. I definitely think she has "middle child syndrome"

He's crawling, climbing and now making messes all by himself... at 8 months!

                                   

TTFN

~ The Sassy Southern Belle ~

The Light's getting warmer...

3 years ago we started on a journey with Braxton. 

We have learned to cope, we have adjusted to a different "normal". We are so close to the light at the end of the tunnel that we can feel it on our face.

Today he asked me if this was the last one. Sadly I had to say no.

I look forward to telling him "yes" in January. Talking about it now chokes me up so I can only imagine how I'm going to be on that actual day... January 15th 2013. 

I think the doctors even get excited. Their faces light up when they talk about it too.

I have decided that since I am going to have a little more time on my hands in the coming year, that I am going to dedicate more of my time to the cause. I have learned in this journey that cancer research, especially pediatric cancer research, is horribly under funded. I am going to stand up and become an advocate. I am going to volunteer more. I have also decided to sign on with the Make-a-Wish foundation. They did a wonderful think for my son, and I want to give back. 

On October 13th we are going to be participating in our very first Light the Night walk in downtown Indy. 

I am super excited about this. I am excited that Braxton will be carrying that white survivors balloon and I will be carrying a gold balloon for my grandpa that passed. 

I have learned that despite the circumstances we are blessed abundantly to still have Braxton here. We are blessed because he got "the good cancer". I know that there are so many wonderful, amazing children out there fighting so hard to win the "bad" cancers. 

Braxton is for sure a fighter and I am going to celebrate this ever moment I get because he is my hero everyday.

You can join our team here:   Braxton's Team  You can be a virtual walker and help raise money for his team, all proceeds will go directly to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. Please feel free to share to the link.

He has clinic on Monday. A spinal tap and chemo. He already feels crumby so I am sure that he is not going to feel wonderful when it's all said and done. Please remember him in your prayers as Monday draws nearer. 4 more!!! And he's DONE!!!!! 

My Sweet Cabby is 7 months old

I don't get to do this much, I really wish that I had kept up with this as he's been growing but keeping up with my 3 is a full time job.

Caleb (aka Cabby, thanks to Zoe calling him baby Cabbage), is going to be 7 months old on the 18th. It's really hard to believe, to think that he is almost a year old. It saddens me a bit, he's my baby, my last baby. 

So here are his stats:

He was almost 20lbs at his 6 month visit so I am sure that he is there by now. 

He is still nursing about every 4-6 hours. But sleeping through the night. 

He is cooing away. I think da-da or mama are in the near future.

He is LOVING solid foods. Table food is his favorite thing. What baby doesn't love mashed taters. 

He is wearing size 3 diapers and 9mth clothes.

He has just cut his first bottom tooth. Teething up a storm. 

(frozen berries in his munchkin food holder is his favorite thing to teeth on)

I was afraid to give him those puffs that dissolve but that little booger was CHEWING a Nilla Wafer. This boy can for sure eat. 

The doctors are predicting that if he continues to grow the way he does that he will be about 6 feet!!! That's a big boy. 

He smiles at everything and he's just the sweetest baby ever. He just started sleeping in his actual crib last night. I can't believe how fast he's growing. 

He loves his big brother and Zoe, bless her heart, drives him crazy. She's a mother hen. 

So that's my Cabby.

All smiles all the time.

Sleeping in his Crib

So in love with this little man

__________________________________________________________________

In other news, Braxton started pre-school!!!! This was a very big step for him as well as for me. I have always sheltered and hovered over him, and to be honest, I probably always will anywhere that he is concerned. He did so good. One day a week he gets a swimming lesson for 30 minutes. I think this is so good for him because the chemo that he has to take has caused a bit of neuropathy in his legs. The swimming in the warm water is supposed to be good for this. 

I was worried that he would be behind the other kids because we didn't let him go to preschool last year, but he seems to be doing just fine. His class is small (about 13 kids) so I'm not as nervous as far as germs go. 

He had chemo on Monday so this was not the best week to start something new. With steroids on board he's always moody and forever changing. But my baby isn't a baby anymore. 

On his first day last week, I got to the school early and he just happened to be on the playground. So I parked far enough back so that he couldn't see me. (I am sure that I must have looked like a creeper) I just sat there, thanking God for bringing him this far and for the opportunity to go to school, like a normal kid. He wasn't Brac the little boy with Leukemia... he was Brac, the 5 year old preschooler. So I sat there for 30 minutes and sobbed like a crazy lady, watching him play on the playground with all his new little friends, realizing just how blessed we are and how Mighty our God really is. 

First Day

Swim Class

Getting deaccessed. .. I am so proud of him.

And I can't leave out my Zoe. She is having a time adjusting to Bub being in School for only 2 1/2 hours. But I think she gets it now. She will go next year and I am really regretting not putting her in now. I think that she would have really enjoyed it. Her new cute thing is putting her finger to her mouth and going "hmmmm, I know" and her favorite person... Diego. I predict she'll be speaking Spanish before she turns 3 :)

Enjoying sparklers and fireworks since the county finally lifted the burn /fireworks ban.

Being Zoe

I said "look at the camera" she replied "I can't, I'm busy"

I'm a survivor...

Where do I begin... WHEW!! What a wild weekend in my house.

Braxton is officially 5! I got through the weekend with minimal grey hairs.

This year Braxton had his very first sleepover...huh umm... I mean Camp Out, because that's what boys have is camp outs not sleep overs.

It was really a camp in because there was no way that those boys would have been comfortable outside with the temps as high as they have been.

Friday night at 8 all the little boys started to trickle in. I had, in a moment of insanity agreed to let Brac have 7 little boys spend the night. And you know what? it really wasn't all that bad. Eron came home and took them outside and if I have learned anything about boys in 5 years, it's that they are better when they are outside. They rode the four wheeler, played tag, and then roasted s'mores. I even managed to get them all to shower. That was rather tricky, but we did it with minimal chaos. We put the tent up in the living room and then, once they were all tucked in, they drifted off to sleep.

The next day the choas started all over again. Until his party that night. Have you ever tried to set up for a party by yourself, with 8 little boys, an attention deprived 2 year old and a 7 mth old to look after? NOT EASY, but when my sweet friends came over, it became slightly more managable and the party ended up going great. {Kudos to Kevin and Anna for coming early to help wrangle those boys and Kudos to my Brother in Law JR for being the grill master}

Some of the yummy party goodies... party favors and Spiderman pancakes

Pocket knife from Daddy and Mommy (it's put up high)

Brac and his "girlfriend" Ava

Some of the yummy treats... thank you Pinterest
Cresent rolls with chocolate chips and mini marshmallows topped with Chocolate syrup, doesn't get any easier. 

You know, as crazy as it was at times, hearing all the little thank you's and watching Brac have a blast with all his friends was so worth it. He went outside at 430 and I didn't see him much until he finally came in with his daddy at 1030. With Zoe and Caleb in the bed, we let him open all his presents. This has become some what of a tradition in our house. We let our kids take all the gifts out and "examine" them and play with them before they go to bed. It's fun to have that one on one time with them on there special day.

After the house was cleaned and all the toys were put back in there place we finally crashed.

Thank you Papaw and Nana... they always bring the coolest gifts.

This week my 5 year old, gets to start preschool. He is so excited. He also found out that he can now go to Children's church on Wednesday night and sing in the children's choir.

Thanks to everyone for coming out and making his special day even more wonderful.

On another note, Today marks Brac's 1000th day of Chemo, with just 158 days left. He has come a long since day one. It's kind of bitter sweet. I can't help but think about all our friends still in treatment or those that have gone through many more than 1000 days, those that have many more days to go with no idea when they will be finished. And then I think of those friends that have finished. That beat the ugly cancer world. I am celebrating that Brac is almost finished. He put up a fight and he essentially won. It is so nice to talk to the doctors about those last couple months. About scheduling to have his port taken OUT at the beginning of next year. (deep breath.... exhale)

Then we will celebrate again. We will celebrate every year for the rest of his LONG life.... Brac beat the cancer world. I will look forward to that anniversary as much as I look forward to every birthday.

There is a book called The Grouchy Lady Bug by Eric Carle, we have read it to Brac since he was a little thing. Everywhere this little lady bug goes she meets bigger and bigger creatures, she keeps saying "you wanna fight" and then "you're not big enough".... well, I've always kind of thought of this as Brac's phrase.  Cancer said "Hey you, you wanna fight?" and Brac said "you're not big enough" ...

1, 2, 3

I am in the process of returning to school. Transcripts to get, schedules to keep and the chaos begins... I'm a little nuts but I guess it's what makes my world go round. I luckily found a sitter for my older 2 today so it was just me and Cabby at the school today. He has become my constant travel buddy.

So while I was sitting there waiting to meet with my advisor, I got to thinking about all 3 of my sweet babies. How I have "evolved" as a mom. 

#1- Braxton, my Alpha, my first born, my thinker, my survivor. 

When we found out that we were pregnant we were so elated (as I was with the other 2 but this was some different). We had been married for 4 years and we just knew that we wouldn't have any problems getting pregnant. Well, it took a year, and after seeing the negative sign one too many times, you can imagine how excited I was when I saw that faint positive sign. 

Anywho, when we finally met this sweet boy, I immediately went into crazy mommy mode. No one was allowed to touch him with out first sanitizing their hands and I ALWAYS washed his paci and toys when they fell on the floor. I did everything by the book. I bought him over priced clothes and toys and well, I just spoiled him rotten. (we never would have imagined the trial that was ahead in his life). I believe that it is better that we don't know the plan that God has for us. Brac's cancer diagnoses was not expected or desired for that matter, but it has taught us so much. We have met so many wonderful people along the way and grown stronger in God as well as in our family. We are also stronger witnesses of the Word because we have seen a miracle first hand.  

By the time we thought we were ready for baby #2, I didn't know how I would ever love another baby as much I loved this little man.... then came.........

#2- Zoe, my baby girl, my eccentric child, my free spirit, my mesh mash of rotten and fun.

Zoe was born about 5 months into Brac's treatment. We really didn't have time to fret and fuss over what was clean and not sanitized. For the most part it already was because of Brac. I used to call her my "shadow baby" because she just sat back. She never fussed or cried, it's kind of like she knew what was going on. Like God had already told her before she got here. She ate her first cereal in the hospital room with Brac. With Brac I was always worried to "co sleep" but when Zoe came along we had no choice but to have her sleep with me... on the couch in the hospital room. She is independent. I wonder if me always fussing over her brother made her that way. Now she is funny and a spice of life. 

#3- Caleb, my Omega, my baby boy, my cuddle bug.

Sitting with him today at the school, I kind of chuckled to myself. He is obsessively attached to me. I LOVE it!!! My other 2 were for sure attached to their daddy. Caleb could take him or leave him :)

He is so mild. Makes me wonder what he has in store for me in the next couple of years. I have learned after 5 years to relax. They are only babies once. I was always so eager to see Brac do everything... crawl, walk, talk. I was even that way with Zoe. With Caleb, I think that I will baby him awhile. Brac is almost finished with treatment and I think that now things will slow down some. 

I have learned that being a mom is the best job ever. To think that God chose me to be their mom is so humbling. I take great pride in these three angels. I think now I will slow down and just let life happen. All I really want for them is to be happy. I could care less if they grow up to be rocket scientist... if they did I wouldn't be sad at all. I want them to love Jesus with all there hearts, and to see me as a Godly mother that raised them the best she could. To love and respect me for teaching them right and wrong and for singing to them at night and remembering all the fun things we have done together. 

Just the ramblings of a mama that is love with her sweet children today.