Sister Love

I do believe the hardest part about moving 500 miles away, was leaving my mom and little sister behind. My mom was a single mom and it was just us girls and over the years {although, 4 years apart} we have become extremely close. We can almost feel what the other is. 

When she is upset or if I'm upset we just sort of know, and somehow we are there at that moment. I think now that I have a nephew it's even harder for me to be away from her. 

I suppose that all this is coming because this week Gin is even farther away in Mexico and quite frankly, I don't like it. It's very uneasy for me. At least if she is in NC, if something happens I can hop on a plane and be there in 2 hours, now she's about 6 hours away by plane and that is just too far for me. 

Growing up, we for sure had our ... ummmm.... disagreements, to put it lightly. But we laughed more than fought. We were each others rock. Until I got married and moved out we were never very far from each other. We laugh about the silliest things. We shared a room forever, even after I moved to my own room I always managed to gravitate to hers. We are now the best of friends. I think of her as my BEST friend. She is always there no matter what. I know that I can confide in her, vent to her, and cry when needed and she is always there never complaining. 

She is the best aunt ever to my kids, she's fun and full of energy. 

When Braxton got sick she was there even when she wasn't in the room. When I was pregnant and at work she would bring me whatever it was that I was craving in the middle of the night. :)

She is my sister, and I couldn't imagine a moment without her. 

I pray that my 4 monkeys will be this close one day. Right now, they fight and that thought seems hopeless. But I keep saying to myself that it's their age and that HOPEFULLY this will all pass and that as time passes they will bond and become the best of friends. 

So to my little sis.... I love you and a week in Mexico is too much for me. I need you to be in NC where I know where to find you and I'll stop dreaming about you on paper boats trying to get home. 

I am so blessed to have you in my life. 

CANCER STILL STINKS!!!

We are so happy to say that Braxton is one month post chemo and doing wonderful. But Cancer STILL stinks. It takes so many too early and some of those are sadly children. 

Braxton had to go to Cincinnati on Sunday night, because he suddenly spiked a temp. He was acting fine and playing and just being Braxton but when I went to hug him he was burning up... typical Braxton. It made me stop and think that even though the chemo is finished we are not quite finished yet. Will the cancer world always be this evil shadow lurking in the background? I surely hope not. He wouldn't have had to go to Cincinnati if his port was out. We are baby steps closer to that milestone. 

He tested negative for the flu and his chest xray was fine as well, but on Monday they called and said that he did test positive for RSV. Luckily Braxton's a strapping young man and RSV is only dangerous in those with compromised or small airways. 

So we are pumping him FULL of antibiotics at the moment he is on 2 huge doses 2 times a day. He has always been so good at taking medicine and I am so thankful for that. 

Other than the nasty cold, he is doing wonderful. 

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This morning, however, when I woke up to check the "daily news" i.e. social networking.... my heart was so saddened to learn that our sweet little friend Vinny has earned his wings. He fought over half his life with this dreaded thing called cancer, his mom dedicated and faithful by his side, always so positive and so sweet and selfless. 

Vinny touched so many and I  ask that today you stop and say a prayer for this sweet family as they endure probably one of the hardest  (if not THE hardest) trials ever.

We love you Sarah and your family and we are praying for piece for you. 

CANCER STILL STINKS... EVERY DAY! WE HAVE TO FIND A CURE. 

Tests always lead to TESTimonies......

Imagine for a moment, a young girl, she lives a life surrounded with the sounds of domestic violence. A life never constant. Yes, her mother is good to her and she really does try to give her the best life. The mother believed that she was doing what was in the best interest of the children. 

Imagine this girl at about 15... she is at a crossroads in her very young life. Does she follow the "friends" that she has made in school. Does she stay in a world of alcohol, drug abuse, parties and misfit friends or does she go the other way, the way that, a still small voice is calling her. Now the decision is up to her. Her entire life she has sought out that "place" she was meant to be, seeking God in so many areas, seeking something to believe in, at one point looking into dark things. At an all time low she was depressed, on several different medications to help her get up and to help her sleep. No will to live at all.  She had no respect for herself as a young woman. She was alone in this world in her head. 

One day she decided she needed to do something productive with her life before she ended up so broken that the pieces could never be put back together. 

Then one day someone invited her to church... a different church. 

This girl was me... 16, broken, and seeking God with all my might. Some people are born with an understanding of God and what He expects of them. From the day that they are born they are raised on church pews. Hearing the word, having it placed in them on a daily basis. Being reaffirmed everyday that Jesus DOES love them and that they are special in the eyes of a mighty mighty God... My children are some of those children. I say that with such a humble heart. 

I never want to forget for a moment where God has brought me from. There was a time in my walk with God that I let my mind be filled with other ideas of what I THOUGHT was right. Then, in that time, I looked at all that God had given me, I looked at my husband, my children, my church family. My support... MY GOD.... and I knew that I had to live this life for HIM. That's what HE wanted out of me. 

When Braxton was diagnosed in 2009, our faith was for sure tested. Many parents may say, why my son, what did we do wrong? We have served God with our whole hearts, why must we go through this trial? I did for a moment. I can remember bargaining with God, almost yelling at Him to let me stand in my son's place and then I heard that still small voice that I heard as a teenager and I was reminded that it rains on the just and the unjust and that this was my trail, our trial to face. We had to get through this moment and that it would pass. I know that I would not be a good mother if I didn't want to take it from him, but something kept telling me that this was not my testimony, it would be Brac's and that while we faced this monster together, our testimonies would be different. 

When I was pregnant with Braxton I asked God to take Braxton and use him anyway that he saw fit. Make him what He wanted. Braxton is only 5 and I don't know what God's plan is for him, but I do know that as he grows he will having an amazing testimony of how God healed his little body and walked with him through that storm. I hope that as he grows up he is never afraid to share Jesus with those around him. 

I am not as bold as I would like to be but I want to be better. I want to share my faith with those around me. Share this beautiful truth that saved me in so many ways. Time and time again. 

I pray daily that God makes me better, that I am more bold and open about my faith. I want my daughter to look at me the way that I look at some of the older saints that I know. I know that I have a testimony different from all those around me. 

I know that I serve a miracle working, wonder working God. He makes a way when it seems impossible. He brought us to Indiana in a month! At first I had my doubts. I was scared of the unknown, I was worried financially and for my family. But you know what.... we are doing WONDERFUL. My marriage is stronger than ever. We are closer as a family and Eron's shop is doing remarkable and to God we give all the glory. 

God is so good and with every new day I am reminded. Braxton is CANCER FREE, my children are healthy and happy, we are doing OK. We have a roof over our heads and our bellies are full. We are so blessed. 

Ok, My Tuesday ramblings are over, I just felt that I needed to share how wonderful God has been to me. 

Slow Motion....

In all the chaos that is my kids... some days I just sit back and watch them and it's like they are suddenly moving in slow motion giving me time to soak in that precious moment. 

I register Braxton for Kindergarten in a month and it's like it just dawned on me that my baby, my hero, my survivor is not so little anymore. It saddened me a little and then it's like a light went off and I had to take a praise break. I had to stop and thank the mighty God that I survive for allowing us to have this moment. I had to thank Him for allowing me another moment, another memory with Braxton. He's going to Kindergarten like all the other kids. I just look at him and see the trials that he has overcome before he was even 5 and I think... what a mighty testimony that boy is going to have one day.

And then I look at my Zoe... words can't express the joy that she brings to me. Yes, she is a bit spunky, accompanied with a lot of sass. But to me that's what makes her Zoe Princess.  She is going to be 3 in March and I never realized how much joy a 3 year old could bring to the mix. Braxton was so sick at 2 and 3 that we never really experienced what it was really like. Zoe is always in some new attire that she has scrounged up around the house. Usually in a pair of shoes that don't remotely go with what she has on. She loves hats and all things glitter. We never know what to expect from our little diva but that's what makes her exciting and fun. 

Caleb, well, Caleb is our background noise right now. The other 2 for sure overwhelm the room they are in but Caleb always makes known that he is there. He is the only one of my 3 that crawls under, over and behind things. It's not unusual to hear him in a room and not visibly see him because he has found something that caught his attention and he went for it. I call that determination. He's small right now, but I see big things for my boy that never lets anything stand in the way of what he wants. 

As we wait for #4 {that still sounds so weird to me} I look forward to seeing what he is like. His personality. I can honestly say that each of my children is completely different. They are all rambunctious and full of energy but their personalities are their own. I love their individuality. 

As a mom I say, slow down, just let them play, sit back and watch them. It really is happening so fast, faster than I could have ever wanted. I know that I am going to work at being a better mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend to all those that are in my life. Because if Braxton, Vinny, Maci and Benjamin and so many others have taught me anything, it's that today can change in the blink of an eye and tomorrow is never guaranteed. 

Zoe is "twinkling" If you want one of these fabulous headbands for your princess go to  Twinkle Belle My sweet sis in law and her sis in law make them and they do a divine job.