Thankful for the small things

Today, I woke up thankful for the small things.

I thank God daily for the walk with Him that He has allowed me to have, for His mercy and grace that's renewed daily.

I thank God for keeping me and walking with me.

He has never let me down, not even when the valley seemed so dark and dreary and I felt like I was drowning in all the "world" crumbling around me.

I am thankful for lessons learned, maybe not in the ways that I thought they would be taught to me but none the less learned.

As I fixed my children a hot lunch today, I thought about how simple it was but so big at the same time. There are so many children, even in our little town of Greensburg that don't get that. They barely get one or two meals a day and there I was fixing my kids their 2nd HOT meal of the day.

I am so blessed to have the honor of staying at home with them everyday. I get to mold them and watch them grow. I know these little people better than anyone else in the world. While sometimes it may seem a little overwhelming I was CHOSEN  to be their mom. I often think, "Wow, what a privilege!!" I get to be the mom to these awesome kids. (yes, I'm a smidge, biased)

I'm thankful that my husband has an amazing business. God has truly had His hand on it from the beginning and for that I can't give enough praise. He works hard to provide for our family. Blessed to have found him 10!!! years ago.

We are geared up for a busy weekend of church and I am thankful for that as well, thankful that my children already have a love for church and Jesus embedded deep in there little hearts. It melts my heart to know that they love to play church and that it's enjoyable for them and not something they dread.

Just thankful is all.

It's spring and everything (one) is growing....

Spring is in the air for sure. We enjoyed a beautiful Monday yesterday, the weather {aside from the pollen and nasty allergies} was unbelievable. PERFECT to say the least. The kids played outside all day and had the best time.

I have to say that Indiana definitely has a beautiful spring...given that we can skip all the tornadoes and straight line winds.

Mondays are typically our appointment days because it's the hubby's day off. Caleb and I had doctors appointments and I'll say that I enjoyed my appointment more than he enjoyed his.

I had an ultrasound to check on some things that they couldn't visualize in the earlier US and the US tech was so very nice. She took the time to show me all the things that she was looking at and assured me that all was great with our little guy. He's weighing around 4lbs and he gave us quiet a show.

Makes me so eager to meet him in a few short weeks. Being a mom of 3 is..... ummmm an experience so I am super excited to see what 4 has to offer.

Cabby also had an appointment. He is a growing boy in the 75% in height and weight which doesn't surprise me much.

He weighs a whooping 25 lbs and he's 32" long. He's such a ham. He was happy until the end of the appointment when they came in with 3 shots. So needless to say today I have a very grumpy and gimpy toddler on my hands.

We have a busy weekend in store this week, filled with our favorite thing to do.... CHURCH! Then on Monday Braxton and Zoe are going to Ohio for a couple of days to spend some quality time with Papaw and Nana and so that I can recoup.

Today we are going to enjoy this beautiful weather while it lasts. Me and the monkeys are going to the park for a bit and I'm hoping to wear them out resulting in a fabulous nap for us all. :)

Happy Tuesday Y'all.

Ports Coming OUT!!!

I started blogging about 3 years ago because, well, I'm a stay at home mom and most days it's just me and my kiddos and I have no where to vent and since writing has always been my go to, I figured this was the next best thing. 

I wish that I would have started when Braxton was first diagnosed {almost 4 years ago now}. But I got here when I did. 

Braxton's "adventure" in the cancer world has been a roller coaster to say the least but in some small ways it's been a blessing. I guess, when you are given, what seems like a ton of lemons, you better get to squeezing and make the best lemonade you've ever made.  We have met WONDERFUL new friends along the way, have had the privilege of some of the best healthcare and have learned the value of LIFE!

It has certainly brought us closer together as a family, we appreciate all the small things in life, we try really hard not to dwell on the things that we can't change and we make the best of every situation. 

Suddenly Braxton has become this sweet, caring, little boy. Anything that may have once reminded me of the baby that he once was is now gone. He has a level of maturity that just makes me smile. Wisdom far beyond his mere 5 years. He is so caring when it comes to others in need. I get so tickled when he goes through the list of jobs that he is going to have when he grows up. He wants to be so much and honestly, I'm not saying this because I think he's just amazing, I truly believe that he is going to be the one that does exactly what he puts his mind too. 

Yesterday, I got a call from his nurse case manager in Cincinnati. They have him scheduled to have his port removed  on May 6th at 1pm. I can still remember them wheeling my precious 2 year old baby away to put it in. The first time that I had ever let a stranger take him from. He was so brave. Once he was gone, I remember standing there crying, feeling so helpless. This tiny little part of him, is being removed. This small "machine" that has been connected to his heart, has been one of the key components to saving his life and keeping him here. 

In the cancer world we call it his "badge of courage".  He will have the privilege and honor of holding it in is pudgy little hand. And one day he will be able to tell the story of how he came to own such an awesome symbol of courage, faith and strength.... and all because, AT 5, HE'S A SURVIVOR.

So little by little we are saying "so long cancer world" ..... soon only to be a distant memory of lessons learned and blessings counted..

being "mom"

Talking to a dear friend last night. I was reminded that as a mother often times when our children get sick we quickly get discouraged. Especially if it's life threatening or "a mystery".

In my 3 years dealing with Braxton's illness, I've learned a few things along my journey. It's perfectly normal to ask God "why". I know that I felt like I was doubting Him and what He was capable of doing. I really wasn't I knew all along that Braxton was in his hands and that he would be taken care. I realized later that if I didn't ask "why", or get angry that he was sick and helpless, or if I did't ask to take it all from him, then what did that say about me as a mother.

Being a mother, is a tough job, probably the toughest there. Often times we, as moms, are looked at as the prime example to these little minds that are constantly being molded. I don't know about you but that's a huge responsibility in my book. I worked 12 hour shifts, would come home feeling exceptionally drained some nights, but none of those days compares to taking care of 3 small children 24/7.

I tell my friends all the time, at least when I worked I got a break, I got 30 min to an hour to just SIT and be alone. Even as I type this I have been interrupted about 4 times to clean up spills, referee fights, or just for a sweet peck on the check. But you know it's the most important job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

It really irritates me when asked what I do people sometimes say "you're just a mom".... oooohhhhh, I'm so much more than that.

I pray daily for my children, I ask God to give me strength and patience everyday when I wake up. I can't make it a moment without His strength.

I've learned, also, to never doubt my mommy instincts and that typically they are right. I know my kids better than anyone else. I know (and to some extent, feel) what they are going through. I know with every tear they shed I probably shed 2 more. Again, this makes for a good mom in my opinion. I am so blessed to be in a circle of wonderful Godly mothers. To learn from them, to watch them with there kids. To have someone to look at and say "I'm so glad that I'm not alone."

These are just my thoughts for the day.

Blogging on the back Porch...

IT'S HERE..... SPRING!!

I have waited for 5 long miserable months to be outside again. And finally it's here. We have been taking full advantage of these 60 degree sunny temps here in Indiana. 

We have gone to the park several times and today we are just loving the toys in the back yard. We have all the power wheels charged and running, the bikes are out and the cozy coupe is in full push mood. I'm hoping to grill out tonight.

I just love spring. It's probably my favorite time of year. It just smells so... fresh. New. Untouched. 

This was Caleb's first time to actually play outside and he was so very cute. He played like an old pro. It makes me so excited for the summer and the splash parks, play dates at the park, trips to my moms and to Eron's mom's. Maybe I'm a little more nostalgic than usual because these pregnancy hormones have kicked in full force {with just 11 short weeks left} or maybe it's because Brac goes to school in the fall and I know that I can't just pack them up and take them to the park whenever I want to come fall. 

I've been spring cleaning and after the bought of sickness that ran through this house a few weeks ago I'm excited to open the windows and let all the germs out. 

{As I type this my crazy husband has the mower out... please tell me what he's mowing because I have no clue. Totally ruining my ambiance. }

I'm also looking forward to spring pics of the kids. They just look so much happier in their spring pics, I assume it's because they are not bundle up like Eskimo children. 

I couldn't help but laugh really loud when my mom, who lives in NC called to tell me it was sleeting there a couple of days ago.... I'm so glad it's there and not here. 

So get outside and enjoy this weather. The Adkins family sure is.