1, 2, 3

I am in the process of returning to school. Transcripts to get, schedules to keep and the chaos begins... I'm a little nuts but I guess it's what makes my world go round. I luckily found a sitter for my older 2 today so it was just me and Cabby at the school today. He has become my constant travel buddy.

So while I was sitting there waiting to meet with my advisor, I got to thinking about all 3 of my sweet babies. How I have "evolved" as a mom. 

#1- Braxton, my Alpha, my first born, my thinker, my survivor. 

When we found out that we were pregnant we were so elated (as I was with the other 2 but this was some different). We had been married for 4 years and we just knew that we wouldn't have any problems getting pregnant. Well, it took a year, and after seeing the negative sign one too many times, you can imagine how excited I was when I saw that faint positive sign. 

Anywho, when we finally met this sweet boy, I immediately went into crazy mommy mode. No one was allowed to touch him with out first sanitizing their hands and I ALWAYS washed his paci and toys when they fell on the floor. I did everything by the book. I bought him over priced clothes and toys and well, I just spoiled him rotten. (we never would have imagined the trial that was ahead in his life). I believe that it is better that we don't know the plan that God has for us. Brac's cancer diagnoses was not expected or desired for that matter, but it has taught us so much. We have met so many wonderful people along the way and grown stronger in God as well as in our family. We are also stronger witnesses of the Word because we have seen a miracle first hand.  

By the time we thought we were ready for baby #2, I didn't know how I would ever love another baby as much I loved this little man.... then came.........

#2- Zoe, my baby girl, my eccentric child, my free spirit, my mesh mash of rotten and fun.

Zoe was born about 5 months into Brac's treatment. We really didn't have time to fret and fuss over what was clean and not sanitized. For the most part it already was because of Brac. I used to call her my "shadow baby" because she just sat back. She never fussed or cried, it's kind of like she knew what was going on. Like God had already told her before she got here. She ate her first cereal in the hospital room with Brac. With Brac I was always worried to "co sleep" but when Zoe came along we had no choice but to have her sleep with me... on the couch in the hospital room. She is independent. I wonder if me always fussing over her brother made her that way. Now she is funny and a spice of life. 

#3- Caleb, my Omega, my baby boy, my cuddle bug.

Sitting with him today at the school, I kind of chuckled to myself. He is obsessively attached to me. I LOVE it!!! My other 2 were for sure attached to their daddy. Caleb could take him or leave him :)

He is so mild. Makes me wonder what he has in store for me in the next couple of years. I have learned after 5 years to relax. They are only babies once. I was always so eager to see Brac do everything... crawl, walk, talk. I was even that way with Zoe. With Caleb, I think that I will baby him awhile. Brac is almost finished with treatment and I think that now things will slow down some. 

I have learned that being a mom is the best job ever. To think that God chose me to be their mom is so humbling. I take great pride in these three angels. I think now I will slow down and just let life happen. All I really want for them is to be happy. I could care less if they grow up to be rocket scientist... if they did I wouldn't be sad at all. I want them to love Jesus with all there hearts, and to see me as a Godly mother that raised them the best she could. To love and respect me for teaching them right and wrong and for singing to them at night and remembering all the fun things we have done together. 

Just the ramblings of a mama that is love with her sweet children today.

UGH!!! Time for some much needed GNO

Being a mother is one of the most rewarding jobs on the planet. I get to be with my kids all day every day and for the most part (aside from the temper tantrums and the sibling wrestling matches) it is a blast. 

But, I am human and I am NOT Super mom... I need a breather every now and then. A girls night out, time to sit back {kid free} and talk about something other than Barney, Spiderman and snack time and sippy cups. 

Since I have had Caleb {who has become my constant travel buddy} I really don't have a moment without my kids. They make me laugh, they bring me so much joy and I can't imagine a moment without either of them. I suppose that is why, when given the opportunity, it's hard for me to leave them. 

I have just had one of those weeks... where you feel like the whole world is crumbling down around you. 

We have been "nickle and dimeing" our old mini van for about 2 years now. We knew there would come a moment when "she" would just conk out... that moment was Monday. 

Oh Bessie, you've been such a good van, we just wanted her to go a little longer and she just couldn't take it anymore. SOOOOO, now the hunt begins for a new vehicle. Oh fun! 

So, the van conks out, and I am trying to do some last minute things to get MY fall semester going (as if I don't have enough going on) and trying to get Brac ready for preschool, they have increased his meds again and NOT given him his monthly IVIG therapy (naturally I'm a little worried now) and trying to potty train Zoe and taking on another kid for a few days, and Caleb is teething horrible... and the list goes on and on... needless to say I need some girl time. 

I think it's important to have that "breathing" space. It keeps me sane. Some women are fine being home ALL DAY EVERYDAY... not I. I figure I'm borderline crazy anyway and it's not going to take much to take me over the edge. I need a few hours to regroup and then I'll be fine to go back into the war zone with both guns firing. 

Ok, so enough ramblings. I hope that everyone has a fab weekend. 

Oh yeah, Brac has 177 days left in the chemo world!!! We are getting so excited. I can't believe that in 2 weeks he is going to be 5! My baby is growing up. He had chemo on Monday and counts are through the roof. So they held his IVIG and we are putting faith in God that he is going to be fine and that his levels will stay high. We are in the end, we can do this for the next 6 months hospital free.... in Jesus name!

This and That

I have been soooo busy!!!

I FINALLY got to go home!! Oh, as hot as it was, it was so good to be in the south again. I don't care what anyone says, you can take the girl out of the south but you can't take the south out of the girl. I hadn't been "home" in about a year and it felt so good to be with my family and to eat good food. 

I don't mean to offend anyone but there is just something about the food through out the south that is soooo good. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, fried okra and corn bread too.... woooooey! I also got some good ole southern bbq, man was it mouth watering. AND SWEET TEA AND PEACH COBBLER!!! 

But what I went for was to kiss on this little beauty...

My sweet new nephew.. Liam!! 

I was so happy to finally get my hands on him. The whole time I hugged and kissed on him and loved him so much he is sure to remember me when I see him again in a couple of weeks. 

{let me insert this here: When I got home, the Goob had bought some items for the house that I have been pining for and had them assembled and put in there places when I got home, he also finished my bathroom, that's a story in itself, THANKS BUNCHES SUGAR}

Once we got home it was time to celebrate the 4th!! It has been so blasted hot here and so dry that the county issued a burn ban and that included fireworks... :( I feel bad for the farmers in town whose crops have suffered.

But a neighboring town did have their fireworks show so the kids did get to see a show on the 3rd. 

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The fair is in town now and the kids had a blast last night riding the rides. Brac and Zoe loved all the animals and the rides. I didn't realize how expensive the fair could be... but so worth every penny to see my kiddos having a good time. And there is just something about fair food... man is it good. 

My waistline doesn't like it much but my mouth and tummy sure does. This was Caleb's first year and he just smiled and took in all the lights. We plan on going back... small town living at it's best. 

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As busy as I have been, running around, I have hardly had a moment to sit down to myself. I received a Kindle Fire for my birthday back in November and it was obvious once the first game was downloaded that it would be a "family" gadget. 

For MOTHER'S DAY I got the Hunger Games trilogy and I am just now reading it.... OMGosh! What a good book or should I say books. 

I'll be honest it took me a little bit to get into it but once I did I couldn't put it down. I actually gave myself a headache one night because I was so tired but I just kept saying "one more chapter". 

I'm glad I finally got through it I highly recommend it. 

I'm a Twilight nerd but this series comes in close second. :)

So for now I am swamping myself in birthday plans for Brac. Can't believe he is going to be 5 in 3 weeks!!!

He is having his first sleepover and I am not quite sure what I have gotten myself into ;)

Every birthday with him is such a blessing and I look forward to all the chaos. 

So I will leave you with these pics {cause they are a couple of my favs} Have a fab weekend. 

TTFN