BUSY BUSY BUSY

SOOOO... we had a baby, and then.......

We suddenly got SO busy.... 

We live for chaos of some sort in this house. I tell people it keeps me young and always keeps things exciting. July has come (and almost gone) and we have been so "normal" that I hadn't updated caringbridge or my personal blog. 

Braxton's last clinic appointment went very well, and today he had another one month check and he is at 6 MONTHS post chemo. Oh!!! it's so exciting to be counting UP now instead of down to the last treatment :) 

We are not taking any moment for granted. 

On the 4th of July we met up with some friends and although it was raining we went to the Dayton Air Force museum and finished out the rainy night at Joe's Crab Shack on the river... it turned out to be a really fun time. We laughed and ate good food and made memories. 

After the 4th we have been traveling far and wide. We went to Gatlinburg, TN for a week with Nana and Papaw and had the best time. Braxton loves his one on one with them, but it made it super exciting that Aunt Stef came too and brought 2 of Braxton's favorite people, Charlee and Garrett. The cabin was always bustling with ninja moves, and noise, noise everywhere until the wee hours of the night.  Thanks so much Papaw and Nana for the trip.

At the Comedy Barn in Pigeon Forge

Cabby loves his Nana

Cabby and Nelleigh Belle... those 2 are a hoot together

With the best papaw EVER!!!

Then after Gatlingburg, we were home for 2 days and then we went to Tulsa, OK for 5 days for PEAK (a youth church event with young people from all over the country) we felt that at his age it's important for Braxton to see all the people that love and serve Jesus just like he does. Needless to say that Alex, at 6 weeks old, is WELL traveled now. 

Love my family

This past weekend we went to a youth meeting that is about an hour away in Noblesville for 3 days. The kids had a blast getting to see all there little friends that, for the most part, they only see a few times a year. 

This week, we are all SOOOO excited (probably me more than anyone) Gammy and Aunt Ginny and Liam are coming!!!! Braxton's 6th birthday is this weekend and they are coming to celebrate with us. I may just kidnap them and keep them from leaving. 

Braxton has also been to the urologist this month. We are trying to get his night time bed wetting under control. So we are trying some new things, working with his fluid intake and the things he drinks and we are going to try the alarm. Hopefully we will see some results in the coming weeks. 

So this weekend we are going to have a Ninjago LEGO party at the splash park and have a SMALL sleepover and just have FUN!!! Because being a cancer SURVIVOR, deserves to have a SUPER FUN BIRTHDAY.  

I have been very thankful this week, a little teary but over all thankful. I am so blessed that we get to celebrate another year with Braxton. We are super thankful that he is a SURVIVOR and I will never, ever take that for granted. God has been so good to us. 

AND then on Monday next week..... BRAXTON STARTS KINDERGARTEN!!!!! We have been school shopping and he has his book bag and lunch box and today he was able to get a few of his booster shots (he was NOT happy about this). 

So, the Adkins family is trucking along, enjoying the rest of the summer and all the fun things that we have planned. Again and as always thank you for all the prayers and thoughts. 

CANCER STILL STINKS!!!

We are so happy to say that Braxton is one month post chemo and doing wonderful. But Cancer STILL stinks. It takes so many too early and some of those are sadly children. 

Braxton had to go to Cincinnati on Sunday night, because he suddenly spiked a temp. He was acting fine and playing and just being Braxton but when I went to hug him he was burning up... typical Braxton. It made me stop and think that even though the chemo is finished we are not quite finished yet. Will the cancer world always be this evil shadow lurking in the background? I surely hope not. He wouldn't have had to go to Cincinnati if his port was out. We are baby steps closer to that milestone. 

He tested negative for the flu and his chest xray was fine as well, but on Monday they called and said that he did test positive for RSV. Luckily Braxton's a strapping young man and RSV is only dangerous in those with compromised or small airways. 

So we are pumping him FULL of antibiotics at the moment he is on 2 huge doses 2 times a day. He has always been so good at taking medicine and I am so thankful for that. 

Other than the nasty cold, he is doing wonderful. 

~~~~~~~~

This morning, however, when I woke up to check the "daily news" i.e. social networking.... my heart was so saddened to learn that our sweet little friend Vinny has earned his wings. He fought over half his life with this dreaded thing called cancer, his mom dedicated and faithful by his side, always so positive and so sweet and selfless. 

Vinny touched so many and I  ask that today you stop and say a prayer for this sweet family as they endure probably one of the hardest  (if not THE hardest) trials ever.

We love you Sarah and your family and we are praying for piece for you. 

CANCER STILL STINKS... EVERY DAY! WE HAVE TO FIND A CURE. 

3 years

Cancer-versary: a date that NO one wants to have marked on their calendar but sadly we do. 

It has been 3 years. 3 years since I sat in the corner of a small room in Brenner Childrens Hospital and received the news that no parent ever wants to hear. 4 little words that change your life in a matter of minutes... seconds really. "Your Child Has Leukemia". 

It was raining that day, November 10th 2009. I knew something was seriously wrong but I was in denial. 

BUT, 3 years later through hills and valleys, Braxton is almost finished. With 2 more treatments to go, I am reminded just how great God is. He is faithful. He doesn't put more on us than we can bear. Although at the time we may feel like there is no way that we can get through this. We are, We did.  He has been faithful never leaving our sides. We know how blessed we are. We realize that Braxton got the "good" cancer (if there is such a thing). We realize that not everyone responds as wonderfully as he has. We know that there are kids who have fought so hard and earned their wings. We know that Braxton is still here. To share in our traditions. To play with his friends. To go to school. To enjoy birthdays. 

Braxton, in his 5 year old little person self, has taught us so very much. I never would have guessed that such a little person could teach me, an adult, so much. He is for sure, wise beyond his years. He has an old soul, I can't completely understand. I don't know what goes on in his little mind but I know that he is a thinker. An analyzer. He is special. And while I believe all my children to be special and unique in there on little ways. I feel like Braxton has wonderful things in store for himself. 

In 3 years we have learned that hope and faith are enough to get you through the tough moments. We have learned to smile through tears. We have learned that when we think it's impossible, God thinks differently. 

I know that this past 3 years I have grown. As a mother, as a friend. I don't take things for granted. I know that life is so precious and like a vapor. 

When I was pregnant with Braxton I used to pray that I would have the heart of Hannah and that God would take my son, who we prayed for so very hard, and make him something special for HIS glory. I promised that when I had him I would give him back. Fully. I knew from the moment that Braxton was born that God had wonderful things in store for this little person and I pray continously that God will use him. If for nothing more than a gate keeper. Give him a heart that is full of love for Him.

Braxton is FINISHING up and for that I give praise. Braxton is thriving and a "normal" boy, for the most part. Braxton is almost CANCER FREE. Boy, that feels so good. 

This song got me through many moments. I cried on the way to work and back listening to it many times. It's so simple and so to the point. 

Humbled

I LOVE Brac's hospital. When we decided to move it was hard only because I LOVED our NC hospital as well. He had such wonderful docs there and I was afraid of what he would walk into in Cincinnati. I did lots of research and was pleased that Cincinnati Children's was among the nations best. I mean, this was my child's health in their hands. I was sure they were perfectly competent but it takes a lot to gain a mother's trust. 

Cincinnati Children's has proven to be fabulous. Brac has one on one attention from his amazing doctor, Dr. O'Brien. I just love her. As does Brac. She gets down on the floor with him. She makes him feel amazingly special when she talks to him. 

Children's has an annual Survivors Picnic at the Zoo, hosted by Cincinnati Zoo.... oh what a fabulous event. An event to celebrate life and in SEPTEMBER at that... perfect time since this is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. We had the privilege of going this weekend. The weather was AMAZING. It was so humbling to see all these amazing kids... SURVIVORS... some still in treatment, but surviving. Some have grown up and some were obviously still in treatment. It was so nice to mingle with other moms... just like me. It was also important for Braxton to see that there were other kids just like him. Kids who fought and WON .... or kids that were "almost" winning. I was so glad for him to see that he was not alone. 

Eron's parents aka Papaw and Nana... came to enjoy in his special day as well. Boy, you should see these kids faces light up as soon as they spot them. They made the day so much more special. To have that one on one time with them. Not mention how much help they were for me. Thanks so much. 

We were given free admission to the Zoo, given a fabulous lunch and the kids received lots of goodies. One thing that is awesome about these events is the way they include the siblings. Zoe has never been left out. I also got some fabulous info on things for Braxton.

There is this fabulous organization called Monkey in my Chair. They place a monkey in the child's seat if they are ever out of class so that even though they are not there, they kind of are. It's a fabulous way to make him feel included even when he can't be. I have requested his. Excited to get it. 

Find out more here > Monkey in my Chair

I have also decided that since Braxton is ALMOST FINISHED (4 more clinic visits after today and one more spinal tap) that I want to start giving back to the organizations that have helped us so much. I am going to start volunteering with the Leukemia and Lymphoma society as well as a fabulous organization call The Dragon Fly Foundation. They bring special things to the kids while they are in the hospital. Things that make there extended stay more bearable. As a mom who's "been there" I am really excited to help out those moms (and dads) just like us. 

The Dragonfly Foundation

We are praying that Brac will get through these next 4 months without being inpatient. As I type this I got a call from Eron telling me that his port is not drawing back, so we are also praying that this will resolve itself and not be anything at all. Brac's been so tough, so strong and amazingly brave through every month of his treatment. Through every stick and through every hospital stay. We are so blessed to have him. 

And I couldn't let a post go by without a little Zoe/Caleb action... 

I'm not sure if you can tell but that's her big brother under there. I definitely think she has "middle child syndrome"

He's crawling, climbing and now making messes all by himself... at 8 months!

                                   

TTFN

~ The Sassy Southern Belle ~

The Light's getting warmer...

3 years ago we started on a journey with Braxton. 

We have learned to cope, we have adjusted to a different "normal". We are so close to the light at the end of the tunnel that we can feel it on our face.

Today he asked me if this was the last one. Sadly I had to say no.

I look forward to telling him "yes" in January. Talking about it now chokes me up so I can only imagine how I'm going to be on that actual day... January 15th 2013. 

I think the doctors even get excited. Their faces light up when they talk about it too.

I have decided that since I am going to have a little more time on my hands in the coming year, that I am going to dedicate more of my time to the cause. I have learned in this journey that cancer research, especially pediatric cancer research, is horribly under funded. I am going to stand up and become an advocate. I am going to volunteer more. I have also decided to sign on with the Make-a-Wish foundation. They did a wonderful think for my son, and I want to give back. 

On October 13th we are going to be participating in our very first Light the Night walk in downtown Indy. 

I am super excited about this. I am excited that Braxton will be carrying that white survivors balloon and I will be carrying a gold balloon for my grandpa that passed. 

I have learned that despite the circumstances we are blessed abundantly to still have Braxton here. We are blessed because he got "the good cancer". I know that there are so many wonderful, amazing children out there fighting so hard to win the "bad" cancers. 

Braxton is for sure a fighter and I am going to celebrate this ever moment I get because he is my hero everyday.

You can join our team here:   Braxton's Team  You can be a virtual walker and help raise money for his team, all proceeds will go directly to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. Please feel free to share to the link.

He has clinic on Monday. A spinal tap and chemo. He already feels crumby so I am sure that he is not going to feel wonderful when it's all said and done. Please remember him in your prayers as Monday draws nearer. 4 more!!! And he's DONE!!!!! 

My Sweet Cabby is 7 months old

I don't get to do this much, I really wish that I had kept up with this as he's been growing but keeping up with my 3 is a full time job.

Caleb (aka Cabby, thanks to Zoe calling him baby Cabbage), is going to be 7 months old on the 18th. It's really hard to believe, to think that he is almost a year old. It saddens me a bit, he's my baby, my last baby. 

So here are his stats:

He was almost 20lbs at his 6 month visit so I am sure that he is there by now. 

He is still nursing about every 4-6 hours. But sleeping through the night. 

He is cooing away. I think da-da or mama are in the near future.

He is LOVING solid foods. Table food is his favorite thing. What baby doesn't love mashed taters. 

He is wearing size 3 diapers and 9mth clothes.

He has just cut his first bottom tooth. Teething up a storm. 

(frozen berries in his munchkin food holder is his favorite thing to teeth on)

I was afraid to give him those puffs that dissolve but that little booger was CHEWING a Nilla Wafer. This boy can for sure eat. 

The doctors are predicting that if he continues to grow the way he does that he will be about 6 feet!!! That's a big boy. 

He smiles at everything and he's just the sweetest baby ever. He just started sleeping in his actual crib last night. I can't believe how fast he's growing. 

He loves his big brother and Zoe, bless her heart, drives him crazy. She's a mother hen. 

So that's my Cabby.

All smiles all the time.

Sleeping in his Crib

So in love with this little man

__________________________________________________________________

In other news, Braxton started pre-school!!!! This was a very big step for him as well as for me. I have always sheltered and hovered over him, and to be honest, I probably always will anywhere that he is concerned. He did so good. One day a week he gets a swimming lesson for 30 minutes. I think this is so good for him because the chemo that he has to take has caused a bit of neuropathy in his legs. The swimming in the warm water is supposed to be good for this. 

I was worried that he would be behind the other kids because we didn't let him go to preschool last year, but he seems to be doing just fine. His class is small (about 13 kids) so I'm not as nervous as far as germs go. 

He had chemo on Monday so this was not the best week to start something new. With steroids on board he's always moody and forever changing. But my baby isn't a baby anymore. 

On his first day last week, I got to the school early and he just happened to be on the playground. So I parked far enough back so that he couldn't see me. (I am sure that I must have looked like a creeper) I just sat there, thanking God for bringing him this far and for the opportunity to go to school, like a normal kid. He wasn't Brac the little boy with Leukemia... he was Brac, the 5 year old preschooler. So I sat there for 30 minutes and sobbed like a crazy lady, watching him play on the playground with all his new little friends, realizing just how blessed we are and how Mighty our God really is. 

First Day

Swim Class

Getting deaccessed. .. I am so proud of him.

And I can't leave out my Zoe. She is having a time adjusting to Bub being in School for only 2 1/2 hours. But I think she gets it now. She will go next year and I am really regretting not putting her in now. I think that she would have really enjoyed it. Her new cute thing is putting her finger to her mouth and going "hmmmm, I know" and her favorite person... Diego. I predict she'll be speaking Spanish before she turns 3 :)

Enjoying sparklers and fireworks since the county finally lifted the burn /fireworks ban.

Being Zoe

I said "look at the camera" she replied "I can't, I'm busy"

1, 2, 3

I am in the process of returning to school. Transcripts to get, schedules to keep and the chaos begins... I'm a little nuts but I guess it's what makes my world go round. I luckily found a sitter for my older 2 today so it was just me and Cabby at the school today. He has become my constant travel buddy.

So while I was sitting there waiting to meet with my advisor, I got to thinking about all 3 of my sweet babies. How I have "evolved" as a mom. 

#1- Braxton, my Alpha, my first born, my thinker, my survivor. 

When we found out that we were pregnant we were so elated (as I was with the other 2 but this was some different). We had been married for 4 years and we just knew that we wouldn't have any problems getting pregnant. Well, it took a year, and after seeing the negative sign one too many times, you can imagine how excited I was when I saw that faint positive sign. 

Anywho, when we finally met this sweet boy, I immediately went into crazy mommy mode. No one was allowed to touch him with out first sanitizing their hands and I ALWAYS washed his paci and toys when they fell on the floor. I did everything by the book. I bought him over priced clothes and toys and well, I just spoiled him rotten. (we never would have imagined the trial that was ahead in his life). I believe that it is better that we don't know the plan that God has for us. Brac's cancer diagnoses was not expected or desired for that matter, but it has taught us so much. We have met so many wonderful people along the way and grown stronger in God as well as in our family. We are also stronger witnesses of the Word because we have seen a miracle first hand.  

By the time we thought we were ready for baby #2, I didn't know how I would ever love another baby as much I loved this little man.... then came.........

#2- Zoe, my baby girl, my eccentric child, my free spirit, my mesh mash of rotten and fun.

Zoe was born about 5 months into Brac's treatment. We really didn't have time to fret and fuss over what was clean and not sanitized. For the most part it already was because of Brac. I used to call her my "shadow baby" because she just sat back. She never fussed or cried, it's kind of like she knew what was going on. Like God had already told her before she got here. She ate her first cereal in the hospital room with Brac. With Brac I was always worried to "co sleep" but when Zoe came along we had no choice but to have her sleep with me... on the couch in the hospital room. She is independent. I wonder if me always fussing over her brother made her that way. Now she is funny and a spice of life. 

#3- Caleb, my Omega, my baby boy, my cuddle bug.

Sitting with him today at the school, I kind of chuckled to myself. He is obsessively attached to me. I LOVE it!!! My other 2 were for sure attached to their daddy. Caleb could take him or leave him :)

He is so mild. Makes me wonder what he has in store for me in the next couple of years. I have learned after 5 years to relax. They are only babies once. I was always so eager to see Brac do everything... crawl, walk, talk. I was even that way with Zoe. With Caleb, I think that I will baby him awhile. Brac is almost finished with treatment and I think that now things will slow down some. 

I have learned that being a mom is the best job ever. To think that God chose me to be their mom is so humbling. I take great pride in these three angels. I think now I will slow down and just let life happen. All I really want for them is to be happy. I could care less if they grow up to be rocket scientist... if they did I wouldn't be sad at all. I want them to love Jesus with all there hearts, and to see me as a Godly mother that raised them the best she could. To love and respect me for teaching them right and wrong and for singing to them at night and remembering all the fun things we have done together. 

Just the ramblings of a mama that is love with her sweet children today.

Camping at Cincinnati Childrens...

We had a pretty uneventful weekend. Braxton played with friends and even rode his four wheeler with his friends on Thursday.  SOOOOO.....

We almost made it. We almost made it to a year with no hospital stays.

Friday morning bright and early Braxton woke me up worried about his four wheeler. When I reassured him that the four wheeler was safe in the garage, he was rolling over to go back to sleep when I leaned down to kiss him, only to realize that he was hot.

First thoughts, " NO WAY!!"

Braxton has been "flirting" with a temp for weeks now but I figured it was just allergies and that it was no big deal. He has been complaining about a headache but nothing too big. Last month the headaches led to a blood transfusion the week before chemo.

So, at 1am I was up packing for me and the kids to drive the hour to Cincinnati with hopes that it was nothing and that his counts would be fine and that after a round of antibiotics he could go home. So often that has been the case I couldn't help but be hopeful.

There I was with 3 kids at 3:30 in the morning alone, one with a temp, a cantankerous 2 year old that needed to be in bed and my sweet baby boy.

It's as if life hits you in the forehead and says... "did you really think it was that easy". Lately I had let my guard down a little when it came to Brac. I have tried to make things as "normal" for him as I could. He is almost 5 and he is just now starting to ask why he has to take medicine and his friends don't. Makes me very glad that he only has 7 months left. Being on maintenance is not all a bed of roses like I had assumed when he was first diagnosed. He has been in the hospital multiple times for viral temps. And although he doesn't have to have treatment every week and although he appears to be a "normal" 4 year old, he is not.

He is still undergoing treatment for.... Leukemia.

So,  as I packed our bags for the hospital. I had a moment where I just cried. I was mad that I was careless enough to "forget" that he was in maintenance and that his counts could still drop. We have become so relient on the IVIG therapy that when something as unexpected as a temp happens it kind of throws me for a loop.

Because he is on a cancer floor with other immuno compromised children and they were unsure of the cause of his temp he has been in "quarantine" of sorts. He is not allowed to leave his room and people have to gown and glove up when entering the room.

The first couple of nights, we did not know why he had the temp or the reason that  not only was his white count and his ANC in the toilet (for lack of a better word) but whatever it was, was tearing up RBC's as well. He needed another blood transfusion while he was there. 2 in a month. Oh boy. We have, however, learned to entertain ourselves in those tiny rooms. I have learned to make balloon animals. {thanks a lot to youtube}

Fear is a funny thing. Especially when it dwells in a mother. I was scared. My stomach felt sick. When Braxton was diagnosed he only presented with a temp... his blood work was what confirmed our worst nightmares as a parent.

Saturday afternoon the doctor assured me that there was no sign of the Leukemia in his blood work and that nothing looked abnormal on his blood smear... (HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF) I could breathe... a little.

Later that day he went down for a CT of his head to see if the infection was in his sinuses ... TADAAAA... the source. So now he is on nasal sprays to try to "wash out" the infection as well as being on 3 weeks of antibiotics when he gets home.

Eron and Brac are now on the way home from Cincy ... Can't wait to see my boys. Brac has been absolutely pitiful and I have missed him the past couple of nights. My diet and work out regimen has gone down the toilet (for lack of a better word) for the weekend, I have been living on coffee and caffeinated drinks, sugar finger foods and NO sleep.

So that's my story for the weekend. Fun Fun!!

it's a dog

and a bunny

Reminiscing moments....

I'm so not the "mushy gushy" type. I mean, my kids make me melt... often. But as for as being sentimental and keeping every little thing my kids or my husband does for me. That's just not me. BUT, I do love pictures and I never delete or throw any out. My heart just melts to look back at the old pics that I have stored. 

Recently I was going through the pics on my computer and found a ton of when Braxton was a baby. He tends to melt my heart the most. Probably because of all that he has gone through. 

When you are pregnant you never dream that you will hear the words "he has cancer".... I wish I never had.

So let me forewarn anyone that may be reading this, the mushy gushiness of this post is totally because I am a mama and the little things about my kids usually has me pouring buckets of tears. I found pics of Braxton when he was first diagnosed and well, lets just say it was a good thing it was the middle of the night cause my kids would have thought I was nuts. 

When Brac was first diagnosed, I went immediately into "mama mode". I knew that I had a job to do and I was into it full force. Braxton immediately became my number one priority (more so than he already was). While we have added 2 more beautiful babies to the mix since he got sick. My heart knows that they are "OK"... I will always fuss over Brac even when he's older. 

I have been worrying over Brac consistently for the last 3 years. It's not going to be something that I can  just forget about. Being the mom of a Cancer Kid is hard. It's hard to watch them go through all the treatments, to see the pain in there eyes. It's hard to want to help them better and  know that you can't.It's hard to watch them be so brave when you want to cry for them.  It's hard to split your time between your other children and it's especially hard to live with the feeling that you are leaving the others out (even though you know that you are not).

Braxton is my first born, he is naturally independent, but I think as he gets ready to start school I wonder if I have hindered him in some way. I have hovered over him since he was Zoe's age. He has been kept from playdates and preschool for fear of him getting sick. He's missed the snow. He's missed trips and birthday parties. I cringe when someone coughs in his direction. My heart melts when he gives me a hug and a kiss just because. I have had a front row seat to the powers of God. I have watched Brac bounce back and recover like a champion. I feel so blessed. I know that with out Braxton I would not have the faith that I do in the things that we don't understand. God amazes me everyday. I know that my little boy is blessed and highly favored. 

Getting accessed in the beginning of his treatment.

He was his sickest here

So as I ramble on, I am happy to say that Brac only has 7 months left. OH!! What a joy!! I get butterflies thinking about his last treatment. I get so excited to think that he is done putting that poison into his little body. It thrills me to know that he can be a "NORMAL" boy. It makes me elated to know that he can go to sleepovers and play without having to come in for his meds. It really makes me happy that he can go to the pediatrician for a cough and cold and not the oncologist. 

So after I had my moment of thoughts and tears. I began to thank the Mighty God that I serve for keeping him and blessing him. For keeping me strong and sane. For allowing me to be the mom to such an amazing little boy. 

To look at him today you'd never know that he was living with a cancer diagnoses.

Just had a mommy moment today. 

CANCER STINKS!!!

I know that many of my post are about how much we hate cancer and the effects that it has on a family, especially when it involves a child.

When you bring your precious baby into the world, you count their fingers and their toes. Your biggest worry is that they might be a little jaundice. Never does the "C" word go through your head.

Then in an instance, in a freak moment, your whole world is turned upside down. You and your sweet baby are placed in this life or death circle. A Russian roulette. And well, it's not fair. It took me a long time for it to sink in that bad things happen to good people. That it's "just life".

One scripture that repeatedly ran through my head was:

Matthew 5:45  That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

I guess this post comes after reading a post from my friend Sarah's Caringbridge page for her little boy Vinny.

It seems like Vinny just can't catch a break. And again I say "why".

The flesh just can't seem to grasp or look past those questions. My spirtual self has faith and hope that things are going to turn around for him.

I think also, as Brac comes up on his 2 year "diagnoses anniversary" {an anniversary that we would rather not think about}, why my little boy. And then I step back and think about how much we have all grown. As a family, as individuals.  We have learned to love deeper and smile through tears. We are optimistic about everything. We have more faith then we ever thought possible.

This was from Nov 10th 2009 The beginning of his "journey"

We know the powers of prayer and that we serve a Mighty Mighty God.

In other news... Brac is fighting something simple... an ear infection. Back when he was diagnosed, we prayed for an ear infection.  His very first ear infection. I don't know that anything has ever been so simple. We welcome simple.

Zoe is on the mend as well. We are getting excited about halloween. And Brac is so excited. He still doesn't know what he wants to be it will be interesting. I will be posting pics as soon as I have them. :)

Dr. Mom

These days the only healthy one in this family seems to be ... me!

Brac has been battling a cough since the end of September. After 2 trips to the regular pediatrician and then one "sick" visit to the hem/onc clinic, this was the game plan:

1) chest x ray
2) check counts
3) a z-pac (azythromyocin) **an antibiotic**
4) breathing treatments and an antihistamine

Makes me really miss those moments when a cold was just that... a cold.

OK, so after this visit last Friday, I thought for sure we were finally on the way up with no more being sick.

WEEELLLL... I thought too soon. Brac had chemo and a spinal tap on Monday.
 Eron ended up taking Brac to Cincinnati by himself because I had to keep Zoe at home with a cough and runny nose. Oh boy!! The joys of motherhood. I couldn't risk taking her to the clinic and infecting the really sick immuno compromised kids.




Accessed and ready to go... all smiles

Brac's counts were very good (ANC- 3,780) and I think that he enjoyed his day alone with his daddy (his best buddy). I packed them plenty of snacks and a craft or 2 to make the day go by faster. They painted 3 wooden cars, a wonderful gift from his birthday that I have been saving for those long clinic days. When a 4 year olds day starts at 5:30am, you would think they would be super cranky, but Brac actually had a really good day.  There were some questions regarding the spinal tap. Dr. O'brien, Brac's oncologist, was a little worried about putting him under sedation for the spinal tap with the nasty cough that he has been fighting. So after deliberation with the anesthesiologist Brac was given the green light. They made it back home about 4pm.

He is not tolerating the steroids wonderful this week, he is WIDE open, going about a million miles an hour, tantrums and many teary moments. The only thing that he wants to eat is Chef Boyarde Ravioli, 2 cans at a time.For Breakfast. Lunch. AND Dinner.
But for the most part he is doing well.

Now ... as for my poor baby girl.

She felt so bad that she took many of these micro naps, her best friend (night night) never left her side

Zoe started feeling "icky" on Sunday with a slightly runny nose, but I knew that it would only get worse before it got better. Today is Thursday and after having a fever for 2 days I decided that it was time to take her in. She has a history of pneumonia and bronchitis, so I wanted to make sure that there was not something more serious going on with her. Good thing I took her in.
Zoe's plan of action to treat for possible pneumonia (because there is some wheezing with her breaths and because her fevers have been so high):

1) breathing treatments 3x a day
2) antibiotics for her as well
3) saline and lots of suction to clear out her little nose :(

If she is not showing improvement within the next couple of days we are back again for a chest xray.

Hoping that this all works and that these babies are back to normal before trick or treat time :)

Well... to make matters worse, The Goob (that's my hubby) is home today as well. A sick day for the town barber.
He must feel pretty crumby because he never takes off from work, he is always early and usually leaves late to accommodate his customers.
Hopefully he is better tomorrow as well, he is NOT the best patient in the world. Men are the biggest babies of all when they are sick.

As for me... I shall finish this post and try to take a nap myself while I can. To rejuvenate before the next round of meds and tears.

Oh PS ... 25 wks!!!  :)
Getting more excited with each passing week. Can't wait to meet this little guy. Super anxious, however, about the up coming ultrasound at the end of the month. Praying for God's will and that everything works out according to His plan.

Where have I been...

I have loved blogging since I stumbled across this addictive world. But with my 2 crazy children and then this pregnancy I have hardly found anytime to do anything at all. Finally, things are starting to "come back to earth".

So, where to begin...

OK ... lets start here. I am 24 weeks!! Already, I am beyond excited. Since my last post we have found out that we are going to be welcoming another precious little guy into the house.



{I was 19 weeks here but I'm not really much bigger now}



Jaxon Eron, is going fit right into this crazy household. He is on the move all the time already. Better get a new pair of running shoes. Our anatomy US did give us a bit of a scare. The one that we had done in the office did show something a bit abnormal in the bowel. A super scary moment in life when the doctor comes in and starts to asks questions about your family history. Typically "bright bowel", as it's referred to, can indicate things such as Cystic Fibrosis. SUPER SCARY, especially after dealing with Braxton and the Leukemia world for almost 3 years.

So, I immediately went to have labs drawn to rule out me as a carrier for the CF gene as well as several other tests. As well as going to "the big city" for a much better US. {we live in a small town so the more "advanced" technology is in the bigger hospitals} :) small town living at it's best.

Well the US we had done, did show the bright bowel. So we were told if all the lab work comes back normal it could be something simple, such as the baby ingesting a little bit of blood as a result of a subchorionic hemorrhage {very common in early pregnancy}. This would be the best case. So we were told to schedule another appointment for the end of October. So more to come on the results of that.

On a good note, all of my lab work came back normal. I am not a carrier for any of the more serious genes, which takes the chances of the baby having anything serious down tremendously. We are thanking God for this.

In other Adkins family news, my boys are determined to make me grey by 30 I'm sure of it. One of them is not here and already making me worry... and there is Braxton. A tornado of wonderment. Quite obviously he is doing well, we have been thanking God that he has not had a hospital stay in 3 months. He has developed a cough that keeps him up all night and makes him sound like he is about to cough up a lung. He sounds like he is horribly contagious but we have been assured that he is not. TWICE. So this is good news.

Next Monday, he goes for a spinal tap and chemo. :( Never any fun, it feels like we pack for a mini vacay to get to the hospital. It's an hour long drive with 2 kids, and on spinal days he is a very grumpy boy. He is not allowed to have anything to eat, so he fusses the entire morning, begging for things to eat. Last time he was even trying to "smuggle" pretzels from his sister.

Brac and his best buddies {cousins} Charlee and Garrett

And then there is Zoe... oh, she is the calm insanity in the storm. She is so funny. Keeps us laughing and she is so very easy going. We love the joy that she brings to our life. She is happy and healthy and a ball of energy.





We are looking forward to Halloween in this house. We are so enjoying the wonderful fall weather that is in the air. Crisp mornings, coffee and cake with friends, sitting around the fire outside roasting marshmallows, soups and chili's... oh and the list goes on and on.

I do believe that my favorite part is seeing all the oranges, reds and yellows that are out. One of the fun things about living in a small town surrounded by small towns is the many fall festivals. The pumpkin patches and apple orchards. I decided to get crafty myself. I decided to make a fall wreath that was just my flavor.

Super easy, and actually fun to make.

So for now, we are embracing the season, the ups and the downs. We are taking everything as it comes to us and enjoying every moment that God gives us.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot... we have CONFIRMED DATES ON OUR MAKE A WISH TRIP TO DISNEY!!!  Woo Hoo!!

So we are off to the Magic Kingdom for a week of worry free fun in February. Staying at the Give kids the World Village. 

So until we meet again. 

The Sassy Southern Belle ;)