Cancer-versary: a date that NO one wants to have marked on their calendar but sadly we do.
It has been 3 years. 3 years since I sat in the corner of a small room in Brenner Childrens Hospital and received the news that no parent ever wants to hear. 4 little words that change your life in a matter of minutes... seconds really. "Your Child Has Leukemia".
It was raining that day, November 10th 2009. I knew something was seriously wrong but I was in denial.
BUT, 3 years later through hills and valleys, Braxton is almost finished. With 2 more treatments to go, I am reminded just how great God is. He is faithful. He doesn't put more on us than we can bear. Although at the time we may feel like there is no way that we can get through this. We are, We did. He has been faithful never leaving our sides. We know how blessed we are. We realize that Braxton got the "good" cancer (if there is such a thing). We realize that not everyone responds as wonderfully as he has. We know that there are kids who have fought so hard and earned their wings. We know that Braxton is still here. To share in our traditions. To play with his friends. To go to school. To enjoy birthdays.
Braxton, in his 5 year old little person self, has taught us so very much. I never would have guessed that such a little person could teach me, an adult, so much. He is for sure, wise beyond his years. He has an old soul, I can't completely understand. I don't know what goes on in his little mind but I know that he is a thinker. An analyzer. He is special. And while I believe all my children to be special and unique in there on little ways. I feel like Braxton has wonderful things in store for himself.
In 3 years we have learned that hope and faith are enough to get you through the tough moments. We have learned to smile through tears. We have learned that when we think it's impossible, God thinks differently.
I know that this past 3 years I have grown. As a mother, as a friend. I don't take things for granted. I know that life is so precious and like a vapor.
When I was pregnant with Braxton I used to pray that I would have the heart of Hannah and that God would take my son, who we prayed for so very hard, and make him something special for HIS glory. I promised that when I had him I would give him back. Fully. I knew from the moment that Braxton was born that God had wonderful things in store for this little person and I pray continously that God will use him. If for nothing more than a gate keeper. Give him a heart that is full of love for Him.
Braxton is FINISHING up and for that I give praise. Braxton is thriving and a "normal" boy, for the most part. Braxton is almost CANCER FREE. Boy, that feels so good.
This song got me through many moments. I cried on the way to work and back listening to it many times. It's so simple and so to the point.
