My Midnight Me Time

Midnight seems to be the only time any more that I have time to SIT and be alone. I wish it was a great time to have a cup of coffee but I'll settle for a little chamomile tea instead. 

Lately my "me time" is spent cleaning and trying to find a comfortable spot. But typically I try to catch up on my favorite blogs and throw in a blog of my own. I find myself talking to God and praying a lot more these days. I am trying to prepare myself for the little bundle of joy that is soon to greet us. 

This pregnancy has been about the most difficult one by far. While I have tried so very hard not to complain because I know that there are so many women that would love the chance to be pregnant but can't get that way. But I've been pregnant a total of 7 times and well I do believe that I'm tired.  

With each pregnancy the curve of my spine gets a little worse resulting in a little more pain than the last one. Walking is hard, breathing is extremely difficult most of the time and sleeping well that is something of the past. 

I truly can't wait to meet this little guy (who still has no name). I'm sure that "baby Omega" is going to bring so many wonderful and exciting new things to our crazy little family. 

I think the older 2 are going to be thrilled with the new baby but I think that my Cabby is going to have some serious issues. I believe that when a new baby is getting ready to come into the mix without even saying anything the other siblings know and some take the "excitement" a little better than others. 

I think that Cabby knows and he's having a little bit of a time saying "so long" to being the baby.

This boy truly cracks me up though. 

In other Adkins news, Braxton has said "so long" to preschool. It's a little bittersweet. I feel like suddenly my baby isn't such a baby anymore and I just don't know that I'm ready to send him off to Kindergarten all day by himself. He's a pistol most days, sassy and extremely independent but what do I do. He had to grow up before he was supposed to and now he's this big person trapped in this cute, pudgy little (almost) 6 year old body.

We had a fun morning at his preschool graduation picnic where he got to say goodbye to his teachers and play with his friends, most of whom will be at his school in the fall. I don't think he truly understands that preschool is no more and that now it's time for the big leagues. 

I want to finish this post with a quick plug for my friends over at Twinkle Belle. 

My sister in law and her sister in law have started this cutesy little girls shop and Zoe got to be in there photo shoot Monday. It was {crazy} but so much fun... 12 little girls all frilled up with their adorable "twinkling" accessories on. Sure to make any little girl feel like a princess. 

I'm pentecostal and we are known for BIG HAIR!!! It makes us.... us. Well, until our girls are able to have the big hair we give them big bows.... big beautiful bows. 

So if you need something to make your little lady shine check out this shop I'm sure that you will love there stuff. And I do believe that eventually they are hoping to start selling a few clothing items as well. I CAN'T WAIT!!! Zoe loves Aunt Stefs work and I'm sure you will as well. 

So that's my me time.... now "me" is going to attempt to hear from Mr. Sandman :)

Night Y'all

Confidence in motherhood....

I follow this AAAAMAZING blog called Kelly's Korner {that you can follow here <}. Today the post was about being confident in your choice as a mother.

I'm not as "seasoned" as some moms but one thing that I have always tried to do as a mom is listen to ME.  I believe that God puts it in us as mothers and women to have the wisdom to raise these children that he has so graciously blessed us with. We just have to learn to listen to it.

Since the day that Braxton was born and I brought him home I have tried whole heartily to pray for God to lead me in the ways that I should go in raising him. I feel like I am very in tune to the needs of each of my kids and that NO ONE knows them like I do.

With Braxton it was a little more difficult for me to learn to trust in myself but I decided early on that there were not enough books to tell me what to do and there was only ONE book that I really needed to listen to. SO.... I have given my all to being the best mom that I know how to be. I may "yell" a little more than some moms, but really that's just how we do things. We are a loud and fun family and that works for us.

I always seem to go back to Braxton's battle with cancer but it has taught us so much about ourselves as parents. Before we found out that he was so sick I had a "gut feeling" that something was wrong months before he was ever diagnosed. It was a nagging, uneasy feeling that kept me up some nights. I prayed continually for God to help me through those moments. He never left my side and today Braxton is a testimony of that. Since he has been sick I have learned more than ever to TRUST IN ME! Trust in those God given instincts.

I am pretty much the laid back one in this family. I take things in stride, as they come. I'll admit that there are those moments that I wish that I was like other moms around me, more organized, more put together in some areas, but then I know that I wouldn't be me. My kids are wild and crazy and full of spunk and so much personality but that makes them.... them.

I can't expect them to be anything but who they are. And I'm going to raise them the way that I see fit and take others "opinions" as they come and take them into careful consideration. I know that I'll make mistakes but my monkeys know that I love them and I am sure that one day they will appreciate everything that I have done for them or tried to do for them and that makes it OK  I know that they are going to still give big hugs and kisses and tell me they love me because they know they can expect the same.

Listen to YOU! Women have been raising children since the beginning of time, be sure of you and the rest will follow in suit.

It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to

Today I would love nothing more than to crawl back under the covers and stay there for about 2 days. 

{this is what I feel like and 9 times out of 10 what I probably look like as well}

Allergies have kicked in full swing and I have that baggy eyed, stuffy, rudolph nose look to prove. Not to mention the nagging cough that just really has me dealing with a ton of back pain. 

Being sick is one thing something that I never whine about but being sick and pregnant well.... it's my blog and I'll whine if I want to. 

If I was brave enough to take a picture of me at this very moment it would prove with no words that I feel awful. 

BUT, alas, being mommy to 3, on the go munchkins means the world must continue to revolve and I must kick this cold in the rear and cowgirl up. It's days like this that I really miss "sick days" and "call ins". Why aren't those worked into a mommy's schedule?? Really makes me miss my mama, she always took such good care of me when I was sick {or faking it} :) Maybe I'll fly her in.

So I'm finished whining {that's why I love this blog, I can vent and I don't feel like I'm complaining and that people are saying "oh, hush... it's not that bad} today I just wanted the world to know that I'm sick so if you happen to see me and I'm grumpy just smile and keep on marching and remember that I have 3 little ones, a head cold from the pits and I'm 9 months pregnant... 

that will be all. ;)

Happy Hump Day y'all

They are ... different

I used to think that being a mom was going to be a piece of cake. I thought how hard could a tiny little person be to take care of.

I find myself laughing at myself a lot these days. Oh! How naive I was as a young mother of ONE! To think that things were super simple and that anything I didn't know I could look up in a book. (insert LONG hysterical laugh here)

Today I have 3 under the age of 6 and I'm telling you... it's probably the hardest thing that I have ever done. 

 Braxton and Zoe are always fighting and picking at each other. I probably break up a million and one fights a day. And then there's Cabby (Caleb) my 3rd child! Words can't describe this little one. He's so sweet and quiet for the most part. He plays well by himself and he's usually attached to my hip... but those moments that he's not, those are the moments that give me new grey hair and heart problems.

He decided {by himself} that he would try out the baby swing, I couldn't keep him out of it. 

I can honestly say that Braxton and Zoe NEVER gave me such worry. I never had to child-proof anything because they never got into anything they weren't supposed to, BUT Caleb.... oh my!!! That boy is in to EVERYTHING! 

Example... He loves to get under my kitchen sink. For some reason, he loves the taste cleaning supplies. And he is QUICK! Maybe he's not so quick just super quiet but either way he wears me out. And here I am about to welcome #4. This little one is already an acrobat so I'm sure that since him and Caleb are going to be so close in age I'm in for it. 

I won't go into details about him deciding it would be a great idea to go into the oven for the corn dogs that I had just put in. Stove was on, stove was hot... but luckily I got there in time.

So to "baby jail" he went..... he does well in solitary confinement. 

So, while I still consider myself a young mom, I would say that I have learned a lot in my six years more than any book could teach me anyway. I know that I have a lot more to learn and I am sure that these extreme children of mine will teach me, but with LOTS of prayer and faith that God will see me through I will make it.  Hopefully with minimal visits to the ER and minimal grey hair and wrinkles. 

At 1 Caleb can successfully open the dishwasher and pull out the racks and use them like stairs, he can empty out a bucket and transport said bucket anywhere he desires to get whatever it is that he desires. He's already had stitches in his lip from trying to climb something "new". He's determined, always has been but he keeps things very interesting to say the least. 

Each of my children bring something unique and "fun" to the family and for that I am thankful. While it's stressful at times, I am so thankful that they have well rounded personalities and that they are sure to keep me laughing. I am blessed that God chose me to be their mama.

Happy Birthday to my Honey!!!

Today, my hubby is the big 3-0!!!!

I love my husband so very much. God truly never makes mistakes. When he gave me Eron, I truly got a treasure of a man. 

He is probably one of the hardest working men that I have ever known, he never stops. I begged him to let me throw him a party and he refused (why he would do that to me of all people I don't understand)

Either way, we are complete opposites but I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else. He makes me smile. He balances out my flighty ways, I manage his OCD, type A personality. 

We were married young but every moment we learn each other a little more. I admire his drive, his dedication, his will. I love that before everything else in life he ALWAYS puts God first. He is a man that is devoted to the word. Devoted to teaching it to our children. Devoted to seeing his family saved. 

I admire his zeal to succeed and be a good steward. He's a perfectionist in every way. He's an AMAZING father. I love watching him interact with our children, he's rough and tough with the boys but gentle and sweet with his princess. He is very hands on and I love that about him too. 

Tonight, we are going to the one place that I know he would rather be more than anywhere else on his birthday.... church. I asked him what he wanted to eat and he said "nothing special".... makes things so difficult. Obviously he has NO clue how to celebrate his birthday. 

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOB!! I hope it's a fantastical day filled with whatever it is you desire.

We love you bunches, 

Amanda, Braxton, Zoe and Caleb

Linking up with Kelly's Korner

Today while I was on one of my many weekly trips to Walmart, all the kids in the cart, hanging off all sides of it, A sweet little lady grabbed my arm {in a grandma kinda way} and said, with such a sweet smile, "you my dear have your hands full." The first thought that came to my mind "NO KIDDING"... that's the first thing I thought not the first thing I said, just what I thought :)

So I just smiled and said "they are sure to keep things interesting", well almost immediately Braxton decided to go into EVERY detail of the last 2 days, telling her about his surgery and that he's "5 but they say I'm 6 but I'm really just 5 but my birthday's coming up soon...." And as he's speaking to the lady, Zoe is jumping all over the cart and grabbing things and then Caleb decided to pipe in too, because never would one of my children just sit there..... after, not kidding, 5 minutes of talking to this sweet lady, we were off. Not kidding you, I only needed all of 6 things from that store, me alone it would have taken only 10 minutes at most to get in and out. It took 30 minutes to get in and out of that blessed store.

I say all that to say, my life is chaos, it's never organized, it's usually loud and out of control. Most days I feel like I am a referee in a never ending cage match. My kids, while well mannered most of the time, can be rather sassy. But I'm a mom to 3 {almost 4} small children. It's not going to be easy. I have learned as a mother of 3 that you have to take time for YOU. If you don't the kids and everyone around you are the ones that are sure to suffer.

Braxton had his port removed yesterday. I was reminiscing all day. Thinking about the day that he had it placed and thinking about the road that we have been down.  Oh Boy!! Talk about coming unglued... there were moments that I felt like the entire world was literally crumbling around me. I knew early on that if I didn't start making time for me that I would eventually implode.

(You can read Braxton's Story here)

So, I have learned that I have to take time for me and God. I like the late evenings, when the house is quiet, everyone's asleep and no matter how tired I am I fight to stay awake so that I can unwind, giving all my problems and issues from the day over to Him. I love my quiet time curled up with a nice book and a cup of tea, minus all the fighting and bickering that goes on during the day.

Having a chronically ill child at a very young age and then having 2 more smalls one in the midst of his treatment, taught me early to count my blessings, lean on the mighty God, remember that He promised to never put more on me than I could bare. I have learned to lean on those around me for help, because as much as I would LOVE to be super mom, I can't do it by myself.

Never the less, I love being a mama. I love taking care of these crazy kids and I hope that I never ever take a moment for granted.

I secretly want to be a writer...shhh

As a little girl my mom would always tell my sister and I that one day we would be famous in the book industry. She would say that I would write the stories and that Ginny would illustrate them.

Truthfully I love to write. I never thought about working for a paper or anything along those lines but maybe a children's book, or maybe something inspirational for other moms (not saying that my little life is all that interesting) but I often think that surely someone could benefit from the experiences that I have faced. Writing has usually been the only outlet for me. As much as I love to chatter and laugh with my friends believe it or not it's not easy for me to express my feelings. I'm pretty laid back, I often let others walk over me and talk over me and I find that to be a flaw. I started "journaling" as a teen to express all those bundled up thoughts and feelings that I didn't want anyone else to know about and it really helped me work through some things.

I think that IF (and that's a HUGE "IF") I ever decided to right a book it probably would be a children's book. I have thought about writing a book for each of my children, them being the main character. But life seems to be in control right now and well, there is barely enough time to do anything. So who knows maybe as they go off to school and I have a little more free time I'll write some then but I honestly wouldn't know where to begin. But wouldn't it be FUN!

So I'll dream a little dream and maybe one day I'll follow through with something that would be fun to me. Right now I have 3 {almost 4!} little monkeys to think about and every ounce of energy goes into them. I love their individual personalities and their free spirits. They for sure keep me busy. Keep looking out, maybe one day there will be a story for Braxton about conquering Leukemia, a story for Zoe Princess and a 'hor-lible" beast, Caleb the unstoppable and the good Lord only knows what this rowdy little boy we are about to meet will bring to the mix.

I'll pray for Gods will and his guidance for now and right down my thoughts as they come to me.

Happy Saturday Ya'll........